GROSS!

So I have my Yahoo account that I barely use. Turns out I've been logged in on Yahoo Messenger on my phone for days... and it's silly cuz I have no contacts. And suddenly some random person contacts me! I'm like how the hell did they find me?!!

So I find out he's a 35 year old man who apparently was in one of the Yahoo groups that I'm in.  Of course I'm incredibly cautious about these things so I started to ask him questions. He seemed pretty nice so I'm thinking maybe he wants to make friends or something. That is until he said he wanted to cam. As in camera. I'm thinking: Oh god he better not be one of those perverts. And what do you know? He reveals that he enjoys showing people his privates and seeing their reactions. At this time I almost throw up on my phone.

I don't mean to judge the pitiful human beings who engage in these lustful, carnal activities... lol.... but I just find it disgusting. Why can't people just seek healthy relationships instead of whoring themselves around?

I'm sorry but I do not want to see your penis, old man! *BLOCK*

Oh, the things I get myself into...

Next post: Save the Whales!

RAINBOW FISH

Just reminding you guys that at the bottom of the page are my rainbow fish. They are all homosexuals, which is why you'll never see more than 5 fish in there. Go ahead and feed their gay asses! DOO IT!

PARENTS

Sometimes I wish I had two daddies. So today my friend was talking to me about an argument he had with his father. It brought back a lot of memories (sad ones) about me and my folks. We've had pretty horrible fights that were... emotionally damaging and just plain exhausting. Which I why I've given up on arguing with them. As long as I depend on them, I will never be taken seriously. If I challenge their authority they just take things away as if I were a damn child! And it doesn't help that I work for my parents. 19 years old, and I couldn't be more ready to just live on my own.

I think the lowest of lows was when when I came home wearing guyliner and they freaked out. They immediately went inside my room, locked the door, and stood appalled before me. I have never felt so worthless and belittled in my life. They were like "So what's next? Lipstick?" What the hell?! Then they brought up the fact that they got a letter from the Human Rights Campaign, a gay rights organization, sent to my name. I was like FUCK! haha (it was a thank you letter cuz I donated money, lol) But the sad part is... I stood up for myself. Perhaps if I hadn't things would have gone differently. But I couldn't do it. I knew they were wrong. Then they said "We don't want anything gay inside this house! In this house we will work for the glory of God..." and all that BULLSHIT. So I replied, in tears, "If you don't want anything gay in this house, then I guess I'm leaving." Apparently my mother reacted and felt a little bad about what they said, but then my dear loving father said "Alright, pack your stuff and get out!" WHAT THE FUCK.... What kind of parent does that to their kid. Instead of loving me unconditionally like "Jesus" would... he tells me to leave the house because I happen to be gay... which is something I never chose and can't change. I told them that day... that I would never forgive them for that. And there isn't a day that I don't think about it. I just left the room... my mom told me that my dad didn't mean it, blah blah blah.

It's like they stopped being my family. Nothing feels the same anymore. Everytime I hug my mother I just feel empty inside. And I can't even talk to my dad for more than 5 minutes without thinking back to that day. It's stupid how they always said being gay is destructive and will ruin me when they're the ones fucking up my life. So if your parents are loving and accepting of you... be thankful! And I don't wanna make it seem like I have the worst life in the world, I don't, but like everyone else I have a daily load of shit to put with up :)

It's not very comforting to know that I have a higher chance of dying from suicide, AIDS, or a hate crime. Religious conservatives love to preach about God's mercy and love... but this goes to show that they are just pathetic, ignorant, hateful people. We're the ones who pay the price... kicked out of our homes, ridiculed, called slurs, denied our rights, and even beaten to death in the streets. Wake up America!

Alright I'm done...
Cheers queers.

Irish Film Festival - American Cinematheque

Yesterday I went to the Irish Film Festival in Santa Monica. If you remember my first post, I mentioned purchasing a movie ticket. I bought a ticket for the movie "Cherrybomb", starring Rupert Grint (known for his role as Ron Weasley in the Harry Potter films). I actually had no idea it was an Irish Film Festival until my friend told me, and it was an awesome experience! "Cherrybomb" was brilliant! The film is fun, refreshing, it's amazing how real the performances feel. They definitely picked great actors!

The best part was getting to see the directors after the movie. They discussed the film and answered questions from the audience! I now have a new-found appreciation for international cinema. :)

Right after "Cherrybomb" there was a film called "Identities", but it was getting late so we didn't watch it. AND OMFG... who do we run into as we leave the theater?! None other than Alexis Arquette herself!! It's funny how my friend and I just looked at each other and were like "Alexis Arquette!" at the same time. I love spotting celebrities. Apparently she was gonna go watch the movie "Identities," a film about transgender people in Ireland.... which makes me wish I had stayed :p.

Hilarity ensued as we went to a pizzeria and my sister friend got hit on badly by this older guy!

ANYWAY... I would like to give my thanks to my dear friend for inviting me to this event! Here's the official trailer for the movie:


And do visit the American Cinematheque website, I think it's a wondeful organization that is non-profit and viewer supported! I encourage everyone to check them out!


http://www.americancinematheque.com/

The Girl and The Robot

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sPqnxFgCrhg

I couldn't embed the video but listen to this song. I think it's awesome :)

THE STORY

It's amazing how much respect I've lost for that man.... my father that is. I pretty much lost all hope in having a stable father-son relationship. And believe me, I did try! But he's so damn conceited... He refuses to listen to me and constantly shoves his religion in my face. That's what I deal with on a daily basis. And I try to be nice, kind, and avoid conflict, but look where it got me. I know one of these days I'm gonna have to confront my parents for the last time. And if someone will end up hurt, it'll probably be me.

It all began on January 2nd, 2008. It was the day that changed my life forever.

That night I had the deepest conversation I've ever had with my cousin. We've always been very close. Of course we've had our ups and downs, but who doesn't? She revealed to me a lot of her secrets; really sad things about what she went and still goes through. And looking back, I don't know if I regret it or not... but I did the unimaginable. I revealed to my cousin that I was... gay.

I guess I felt bad that she had told me all of her secrets and I was hiding mine. She was... maybe not upset... but definitely shocked. She told me that maybe it was a phase or maybe I could turn straight. :\ At least she was cool about it somewhat.

The next night my mother broke out in tears.

TO BE CONTINUED...

OUCH...

Ugghh... So yesterday while I was sleeping I was bitten by a spider. I'm fine now, luckily, but today at work I got really nauseous and felt like throwing up. Apparently that's one of the symptoms of spider venom.... from a black widow... HAHAHA. Just my luck! Of course my mother blamed my vegetarianism for the incident.

HAHAHAHA.... I LIKE IT!

If I had a nickel for every time I've tried to start a new blog I'd have 15 cents. So this is my third try, and as they say... third time's the charm!

I don't know how often I'll be able to update this, since it's supposed to be a SECRET! Of course someone like me is used to keeping secrets. In the next entry I'll talk a bit more about myself. Right now I just felt like typing something down. It's 12:05 AM. *yawn* I'm drinking orange and spice tea. Today I made 3 online purchases. I bought a shirt, a movie ticket, and paid Nintendo to repair my Wii. Well, actually I convinced my mother to pay for the last one, haha. If you're wondering about the title of this post, it's what I said after seeing the preview of this blog with the bubble picture included. And the "face" you see here is the famous "Henohenomoheji". It's made out of Japanese characters and used as a teaching tool for Japanese children. I just think it's fun-looking :) It's pretty late and this wasn't most exciting of blog entries, I'm sure... but it'll get better! I promise!

Talk to you soon!

- Lakilester