Taking Initiative

I did something I didn't think I'd be able to do last week. Perhaps I acted out of frustration. Nevertheless, I'm quite proud of myself.

During my developmental psychology class, the issue of homosexuality came up. Now, I'm not one to openly disclose my sexual orientation around a large group of strangers. In fact, during my health class last year, homosexuality was presented in a negative light. Our professor confessed to being uninformed about gay individuals and relationships, which I suspect was just a way for her to avoid discussing the topic, or at least any scientific and unbiased information about the topic. She mentioned that sexual orientation can be changed through therapy(it can't), and that her "gay friend" back in college was promiscuous. She also discussed "Bugchasers". Yes. What the ACTUAL FUCK? But she did. And so, the Health class learned about a tiny, miniscule minority of gay people who are miserable enough to want to contract HIV. Now keep in mind that most gay men don't even know about bugchasers. This woman had a agenda, which became too apparent when she discussed abortion. I won't even go there.

Anyway, I didn't speak up. I feel that I should have. This woman was spreading lies and ignorant opinions, not facts. But speaking out is hard, especially when the teacher mispronounces "bugchasers" and instead says "Butt Chasers", eliciting laughs all around the classroom.

Fast forward a few months. It's the second week of Developmental Psychology class. It's was all great until this particularly opinionated girl raised her hand. "It seems to me like being gay is glorified or encouraged in this society. It's almost like it's cool to be gay." I STRONGLY disagree with that, of course... but I did not voice my opinion. She went on "If my kid told me that they wanted to experiment with the same sex, I wouldn't let them. It's not normal. NO OFFENSE TO ANYONE." Oh, none taken! Please, go on! What else am I besides a deviation of normal that must not be encouraged?

This prompted other students with ignorant views to express their frustration with gay people. "Why do they have to flaunt it? Why do they have Pride Parades?? Straight people don"t go around having pride parades!! I think it's a choice. My sister dated a guy for the longest time and now she's a lesbian. So that means it's a choice!" (because bisexual people are pure myth, like gods and unicorns). Then this guy said "It's a lifestyle. Like choosing to become a Christian. But they should be respected anyway." Thanks but no thanks.

Well, I had just about had it. So mustered up some courage and raised my hand. I awaited my turn as others spoke. Finally I was called on. I wasn't sure about what I was supposed to say. I just knew I wanted to beat some sense into these people. So I spoke.

It went something like "I don't think straight people can understand what it's like being gay. If they did, they wouldn't be so quick to express their frustrations with trivial things like pride events. Straight pride goes on every single day. It also bothers me that this choice thing is still being debated. I happen to be gay. It's not a choice. My parents almost kicked me out of the house when I told them I was gay. Why? Because they believe it's some lifestyle choice. But what really frustrates me, is that people get to debate who I am, what rights I should or shouldn't have, and how I should live."

What I REALLY wanted to say was: "You're all a bunch of self-entitled pricks who don't have the LEAST idea of what you're talking about." But I believe I stated my position eloquently enough.

I was shaking afterwards. Fearing a negative response. Some cold rebuttal. But no... Silence. Because these straight people had no idea a homosexual deviant had secretly infiltrated their heterosexual quarters. I should have just glitterbombed them all and ran the fuck out of there. But I didn't. I tried to just sit still.

"Thank you for sharing that." the professor replied. SUCCESS. I cannot stress enough the importance of challenging ignorant views and not tolerating bigotry. I felt like I had to speak out. I wanted them to see with their own eyes the people that their views affected. Because nowadays the term "gay" is politically charged. "Gay" is not a political stance, or some point of view. Gay people are people... with families, friends, hopes, dreams. People need to be aware of that, so I spoke out. I'm very proud of myself for doing so.

HALLE-FUCKING-LUJAH!

Dearest Friends,

I survived. Yes, last week was Jesus Camp 2011. But instead of the dramatic anecdote I posted last year about that fucking insane God Glitter/Jesus Juice fat bastard, I"ll be brief about this one.

This year's preacher was just as obese, just as annoying, but not as fucking nuts. He was just more of an asshole. This time instead of saying ridiculous things about angel feathers and glory dust, this man just spent three days telling kids how disgusting and pathetic they are, and how they're banned from basically existing according to the Bible. Craziest thing he said: "Hanna Montana is a tool of Satan!" ... Actually, I kind of agree with that one.

But he was nuts. He apparently loves the book of Leviticus, which says everything is an abomination unto God. He's nuts. He calls drinking and tattoos a sin. I know Christians who drink and have tattoos. And Jesus drank, for fuck's sake! His argument: "It could have been grape juice..." FUCK YOU. He turned water into wine.... He actually gave people alcohol. This guy is nuts.

What annoyed me most, however, is how he shamed people. He is a proud, raised-Christian 26 year old virgin, non-drinker, non-anything pretty much. You know what? This dude is just SO DAMN BITTER that he deprives himself of BASIC HUMAN NEEDS.... that he can't stand the fact that others do. Like 'If I'm not gonna have sex, neither will you... HAHAHAHAHAHA!!'

He basically convinced kids that being sexually aroused is wrong, thinking about anything sexual is wrong, if you have CDs or books, or ANYTHING really, that doesn't "glorify God"... you need to set that shit on fire.

Oh, but sex within marriage is great! In fact, it's a form of worship to God... It's a spiritual act!!! Literally. He stated that people can catch curses from sex just like STDs... Wow. I imagine Satan traveling through a guy's dick, being squirted out into your cavity of choice... Pathetic. What the FUCK is this guy smoking. This is ridiculous even for a Christian. And sex as an act of worship?! The LAST thing people think about during sex is praising Jeebus...

So here we are again. Some asshole telling the next generation of kids to be ashamed of their bodies and desires. Making them think that everything in this world is sinful, evil, and will kill them. This dude belongs in the 16th century... Actually, farther back... His morality is archaic, like fucking Bronze Age shit.

Ridiculous. Pisses me off. How people can listen to assholes like this guy.

ALRIGHT...

I guess there's no way to disable this blog... But I don't plan on updating it. Shit ain't happening. But I AM trying to focus more on my creative abilities now. This blog did what it was meant to do. Some of the entries are hilarious, some deeply emotional, and typing my feelings and opinions down was therapeutic for me. That stage of my life is over now. This year I'm not just gonna write about it... I'm making it happen. And by 'it' I mean the things I wanna do, the person I wanna be, and the legacy I want to leave in this world. You ain't seen the last of me, I'll tell you that much! Thank you readers, it's been a long journey. I might make a new blog or continue this one in the distant future. For now, think about this phrase by Gandhi: "Be the change you wish to see in this world."

NEW YEAR, NEW BLOG!

Like the new header? I made it on a Photoshop-like browser application called Sumo Paint. Try it out. I was messing around with it but it ended up looking pretty neat. Also changed the layout a bit. Note that it's a BLOG instead of a BLAWG now... Yup, we've grown up too!

CONGRATS ASSHOLE

So this dude stopped talking to me because I expressed my opinions about religion. As in -- I think it's bullshit.

And this dude told me he was an agnostic.... That he wasn't convinced much by any religion. What the fuck is your problem then?

Things were fine at first. We talked about our experiences helping out at rehab centers. I shared an experience I had visiting an elderly rehab center for people with neurological disorders with my church youth group. We tried sharing the "good news" with a group of elderly men playing poker. Didn't go very well. One of them was immediately pissed that we brought up the issue. "Jesus loves you!" we told him. "Oh yeah? Where was God when I lost my leg in 'nam?? Don't talk to me about no loving God..." And he was right.
Shortly afterwards we decided to sing a few songs to some of the elderly in the main hall.

Anyhow, never did I mention I was a card-carrying atheist, which led this guy to believe I was a Christian. I was very quick to correct him. And... sure...  I might as well give my two cents about religion, right?

He never replied. Did I come off as confrontational? No. And why would he be offended?? I guess he's just embraced that "politically correct" mentality --If it sounds like it would offend other people, I guess I'll just go ahead and act offended-- Why not think for yourself, you tool!!

Pathetic.

2011

New Year. I don't know if I'll keep updating this blog much... But things sure seem uneventful around here. At least I don't have the energy I once had.

Lots of challenges, insecurities, and painful decisions made 2010 a difficult year for me. I do not know what the future holds... but things look dim. However hard things get though, I'll never give up hope. I'll always have the strength and fortitude to live my life with dignity, and I'll always remember those who brought so much joy to my life, those who cared enough to know the real me. I couldn't bear to part from you, but if that be the case, know that you are loved and that I'm incredibly fortunate to be your trusted friend. Maybe things will be different... but uncertainty, like a deep fog, conceals the path before me. No one can help me, thought they wish they could. My weary legs must take me beyond the fog.... where the unknown awaits.

I must do this alone.

I FUCKING SWEAR LIKE...

This visibly gay guy is fucking playing the Glee soundtrack and a male duet of Taylor Swift's "Love Story". Which, knowing Glee, might be part of the Glee soundtrack... It's damn loud. Like girl, turn that shit down! I'm all for Pride hun, but my earseses be hurting!

Oh... Okay, now she stood up all fast and ran off.