CLUBBING F'N SUX!

Clubbing is just another of Satan's tools to corrupt God's children and make them stray away from His Truth and Perfect Plan!

Need I say more?

Didn't think so.

My prude conservative Jesus-loving mind cannot register the fun in dry humping while shitfaced.

However, if by clubbing you mean being part of a club which, let's say, gets together to play Magic: The Gathering, then I'm all for it!

So hold your boners, America! And instead enrich and nourish your brain with the best clubbing alternative there is:

Magic: The FUCKING Gathering!!!

You think your boner iz hard, BITCH?!

Try pulling out a fucking combo defeating your multicolor aggro deck opponent in 3 turns! Now that shit is HARD!!

You bet your bleached ass this fairy is staying home, sitting in fucking dining room, having my mom bring me cookies (that's right mothafuckas!!!) and busting your ass old school!

You want a REAL throwdown, BITCH?! Then whip out ur cards instead of ur cock!!

TO BE CONTINUED