FAÇADES

You'd think putting on a mask everywhere you go would become second nature after years of doing it. It doesn't. All it does is begin a process of decay... Rotting on the inside. And no matter how long you keep it up for, the pain is still the same.

Being someone else is hard work. Sometimes you have to act the exact opposite of how you feel. I'm at church. Inside my mother's office. Alone. I feel miserable here. I don't belong here. And I would like nothing more than to be done with this sick little game. However, once I step out the door I'm gonna smile at everyone, say "God bless you!", called these strangers my 'brothers and sisters', and pretend that my life is wonderful.

No one here knows me. Not even my relatives that I see every week. They're just part of this twisted game. My parents ask me why I don't want to attend youth services, events, and outings, why I don't have any friends here. How could I? I'd love to tell them what I really feel and let them decide for themselves whether or not to befriend me. But that's not the case, is it now? Father... Mother... Because that would harm your precious little reputation. No son of yours could ever be an "immoral homosexual" who denies the existence of the Lord!

All I've ever known is lies. I was a lie. My religion was a lie. Now that I embraced the truth I've been taught to hide in shame or to never even consider, my eyes are wide open. I can never go back. Superstition is for the weak. Those who fear change. The foundations of the sick "morality" that these enemies of reason so fervently uphold are crumbling down. I'm gonna get some popcorn, sit on the couch... and enjoy the show.

Here's one of my personal favorite metal classics: "I Want Out" by Hammerfall (cover, originally by the band Helloween) Pay attention to the lyrics. It's exactly how I feel.